This guy came into work one day with a fistful of cigars and started passing them out left and right to celebrate the birth of his son.
"Congratulations, Eric," said the boss. "How much does the baby weigh?"
"Four and a half pounds," reported the father proudly.
"Gee, that's kind of small."
"What did you expect?" retorted Eric indignantly. "We've only been married three months."