Q: How many lead trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Fifty. One to do it and the others to stand around and say, "I could do that better.

Q: What do lead trumpet players use for birth control?
A: Their personality.

Q: What is the difference between a trumpet soloist and King Kong?
A: King Kong is more sensitive.

Q: What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds?
A: Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.

The best recording of the Haydn Trumpet Concerto is Music Minus One.

Q: How to trumpet players traditionally greet each other?
A: "Hi. I'm better than you."

Q: How do you know when a trumpet player is at your door?
A: The doorbell shrieks!